By: Victoria H
What do you think of when you hear the word “mother”? Do you picture a timeless figure? Are you thinking of one who always looked their best while tending to the children, the garden, the household, while being involved in extracurricular activities in the neighborhood? That was the gold standard for many generations, but that may not be the case anymore. Society is changing dramatically and is triggering the responsibilities and expectations of a mother to evolve as well.
Traditionally, motherhood has been synonymous with staying at home. Mothers were the homemakers, child rearers, and nurturers who upheld family life and image. The smiling 1950s housewife who manages a pristine home comes to mind. That era idealized a single version of motherhood that may not be possible with today’s household demands and pressures. Fast forward to today where the mothering role is more dynamic, complex, and diverse than ever.
Mothers can hold more identities and titles now as breadwinners, protectors, providers, educators, and healers. The constant rise in the cost of living and more opportunities for career advancement has caused a shift in the traditional family dynamics. The modern mom may work multiple jobs while pursuing higher education outside of raising children to keep the home together. On top of that stress there is pressure from social media projecting the image of the perfect parent. With the constant comparison and information overload from social media, mothers can feel overwhelmed and exhausted. The “village” has also changed over time. Gone are the days of spontaneous outside play and carefree neighborhood trust. Today’s parents are navigating a world that often feels more isolated and judgmental than supportive.
We need to give ourselves permission to redefine motherhood on our own terms. Social media is not always reality. There is no “one-size-fits-all” definition of a perfect mother. You can only be the perfect mother for your family’s unique needs. We also need to rebuild our own version of the village we had growing up. Mothers are all around us and we all need support no matter how strong we appear or how much we can handle. We can use social media platforms like the Peanut App to uplift each other and connect. There are opportunities to find each other organically in the park, library, or grocery store. You don’t have to do it alone and shouldn’t have to!
Be kind and congratulate yourself on the unique role you have developed to fit your family’s needs. You are adaptable, resilient and an irreplaceable pillar to your household. The best advice is not to mold yourself to anyone else’s expectations. You define what a mother is by becoming the person your family needs. No one knows your babies better than you do. As the saying goes, “Mother knows best.”
One thing for certain is that no matter how the description of a mother changes, love is the constant. Whether a mother births a child or steps into the role by choice or circumstance, she is not defined by how she looks, how much she does, or how she compares, but by how deeply she loves, nurtures, and shows up. You are enough, just as you are. Happy Mother’s Day!